I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
