So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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