she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
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Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
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I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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