so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
