Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
