I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
