Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
