Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
