I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I am naked and annoyed.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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