omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
well you can't waste a boner
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
