Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
