you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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