what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
