I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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