plz talk dirty to me
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
