We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
