He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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