This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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