She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
