The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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