Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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