You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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