Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
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I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
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Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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