you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
