some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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