I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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