There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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