Where is the hickey?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
