We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
