If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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