Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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