And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
