Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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