you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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