dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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