i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag