He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My bed is full of blood and feathers
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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