the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
