if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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