we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
