I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
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i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
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I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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