how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize