Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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