is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
