i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
whose ass print is on the piano?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
