Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He felt like a one man threesome
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
