what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
