Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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