he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
