Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
