You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
