Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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