We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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