The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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