this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
