I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize