Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
